Thursday Thirteen

Today, I had the un- fortunate need to go to the mall five days before Christmas. I had to pick up a few last minute things, which shall remain nameless, for also nameless children and cousins. The only thing good about my trip to the mall was that it provided amazingly entertaining "blog fodder". Very blogworthy indeed. So, without further adieu, I present thirteen things I learned at the mall today.

1. My cat is smarter than the man who works at the Verizon kiosk. On the other hand, the man who works in Radio Shack is VERY helpful and he got my business.
2. Having to walk from the furtherest parking spot in the parking lot isn't the end of the world after all.
3. Apparently, every boy within a 10-square mile area of said mall wears size 10 blue khaki pants.
4. Stores are stingy with those nice big shopping bags this time of year.
5. Surprisingly, no one has Gutter Guard on their Christmas list this year. That kiosk was eerily quiet.
6. Many men were taking advantage of the Macy's jewelry sale. Better late than never, I guess.
7. Bleary-eyed men wandering around Victoria's Secret are comical. I thought they were supposed to be shopping for their wives not themselves!
8. Be sure to get those security tags removed from all purchases. Those buzzers are LOUD!
9. Even though I inadvertently set off those buzzers in no less than six stores, not one salesperson so much as gave me a second glance.
10. One should never expect a salesclerk to actually know about the inventory/stock in his or her place of employment. That's just asking too much.
11. It is also asking too much to have more than one cash register working in any given store at any given time.
12. It is GREAT fun to joyously respond "Merry Christmas" to all the "Happy Holiday" greetings.
13. The prices of the "toys" on the kids' lists have risen in direct proportion to their heights and weights.