Panini, Round 2

So girls, remember this???  Well, today was Round 2.  It was mostly the same as Round 1, except for one GLARING difference.

Everything was going smoothly.  The sweet nurse in the pastel scrubs called my name (incorrectly, of course) and ushered me across the hall.  She told me to stand facing the.......ahem...... "machine" and to untie the standard shirt they had so generously provided.  All was going fine.

Then, to my utter horror, as I'm standing there exposed for all the world to see and covered in red blotches (my signature sign of nerves), the sweet lady suddenly gasped and said "I know YOU!  You sing at Lifepoint Church, don't you?"  

OH.  MY.  WORD.   I could have died.  I could have LIED.  But, obviously, it was too late for that.  I gulped and said "Yes, I do."

Her strange reply:  "I thought I recognized you."  What?  She didn't recognize me until AFTER I had removed my shirt??!?!

And, once again, the exam went downhill fast.  And, it was even worse because, although she obviously knew who I was, I had NO idea who she was.  I work at the welcome center and the children's program check-in desk so I chat with many people each week but I had never laid eyes on her before.   Although, you know as well as I do, that I will now see her three times each weekend.  And,  naturally, while she was "mammogramming" me, she felt the need to chat about the latest ladies' bible study, the worship team, my singing, etc.

It's more than a little disconcerting to hear "I love the worship team CD.  I just got it yesterday.  Would you please lean in toward the machine?  I listened to it three times yesterday.  There you go.  Now don't move."  while you're mostly naked and being "manipulated" and basically held captive by a sweet nurse in pastel scrubs who is in complete control of the buttons to every woman's idea of a torture device.

Finally, mercifully, it was over.  I scrambled as quickly as I could to get that shirt back on and get the heck outta Dodge.  As I inched toward the door, she said cheerily "See you Sunday!"

Indeed!!!!!!!  Why do I have a feeling that she will never "see" me in the same way again.  And why in the world do things like this only happen to ME???


Jen said...

I had my first in November, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be...but I was holding back tears b/c my grandfather was going to pass away that day.

Try having the OBGYN stitching your episiotomy be the mother of someone you knew in college. My husband was much more mortified than I was, though :o)

Cathy Little said...

The same thing has happened to me…Except that I actually recognized her. She knew me from stage as well. The good thing in my case was that she had attended our church, but had recently left. So that fixed the 'see you Sunday' factor. Still - it's extremely disconcerting when you'd much rather be anonymous. I feel your pain!

Jeanne S. said...

The highlight of our year, right?

Gina Ulfa said...

very good !
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