- "Mom, there's an old grandpa who's only wearing his underwear." During a Chevy commercial.
- "Mom, that guy's name is Booger McFarland. I'm gonna call him Booger Mc"Fart"land." This became uncontrollable giggles every single time the announcer said his name.
- "Come on guys. He's just a heart. Give him a break!" During the AHA commercial where the guy in a heart suit was having a "heart attack".
- "Mom, you have bad breath. You need a tasty mint." I gave him my standard reply: Bad breath is better than no breath.
- "Adam, I can't believe you missed it." I didn't realize he was on a first-name basis with the Colts kicker.
- "Mom, I think the Colts should be called the Horseshoes, and why do the Bears have a C on their helmets?" Good point, son.
- "Mom, are the guys with higher numbers better than the low-number guys?" I guess it depends on the guy.
- "Raindrops keep falling on the camera." Sung to the tune of, what else, "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head".
- "Mom, you said we would have a party. This isn't a blast!" Next year, I'll send him with Jeff too.