What Kind of Wife are YOU?


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

Well, it would seem that even though I scored a "Very Superior" on the above test, I owe my family an apology.

First to Jeff. My dear, I am so very sorry that I have never given you a shampoo or a manicure. Please don't hold your breath waiting for either of those from me. Additionally, it would seem I am not supposed to open your personal mail. So, in the future, I will leave all those pesky letters from places like Allegheny Power and National City Bank for you. I apologize for putting my cold feet on you at night and for wearing pajamas, rather than a nightgown, while I am putting my cold feet on you. Finally, and most egregiously, I offer you a heartfelt apology for walking around the house in stocking feet and for wearing red nail polish. I must be a terrible embarrassment to you.

In my defense, however, I would like to point out that I HAVE kept myself "dainty, perfumed, and feminine", and I always laugh and your "jokes and clowning." Also, I have never eaten onions, radishes, or garlic before a date, and I always react with "delight to marital congress." I should get bonus points for those things.

To my children: I apologize for not getting "dressed for breakfast" every morning. I realize I have probably scarred you for life since you have seen me in my pajamas while eating your Fruit Loops. I am also terribly sorry that I have never, in all my years as your loving mother, washed the lid of the milk bottle before pouring said liquid into your bowl of Fruit Loops. How have you survived lo, these many years, without a clean milk bottle rim?

Also, I am quite certain that I have served way too many meals from "tin cans or the delicatessen store". Cooking is not my strong point. I readily admit that. However, I do notice that none of you seems to be starving. And I know that I have probably mortified you to the highest degree when my shoulder straps hung over my arm or my slip was crooked. I'm sorry. Finally, my dear children, please accept my sincerest apologies for cooking in my pajamas. I see hours of therapy in your futures.

Now, all you readers who are also mothers, go take the test and let me know how you score. Oh, and be sure to make your appropriate apologies too.


Steph said...

um...what exactly is marital congress? and why should I delight in it?

Adam said...

Isn't there something you're forgetting to apologize for?

Tamera said...

I scored MUCH lower than you did - yet still received a "superior" rating. Maybe our ambitions are too high?? The question is - will our husbands take the "husband quiz"??

julie_blauwkamp said...

I was superior

my favorite questions was
Reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress.

I checked yes- and I will now be vulgar and say- come on- marital congress= BUSINESS TIME! :)

so- I apologize for being vulgar and alluding to marital congress on a public blog space!

Kerry said...

OK, I am simply "superior" :-( Seems like I'm just doing all kinds of things wrong! OTOH... my dh did take the mens side and scored a "very superior" or whatever that highest category was...

Kathi said...

Hilarious Jen! I scored much lower than you...but I am superior. Ha ha.

Is it my computer or is there something wrong with your background?

Jen said...

Kathi-must be your computer. I haven't noticed any problems. Although I did hear from some people that it was strange yesterday.