Still here.......

Life is busy.  That's all there is to say.  I have a nagging guilt that I'm not writing here more.  But when I think about writing, I have a nagging guilt that I'm not cleaning something, running a child to a sports practice, buying a used textbook for Brooke, cooking a real meal for my family..........you know how it is.

This has been a week of mixed emotions for me.  I was blessed to spend two days with my sister in Pennsylvania.  Both boys had sports practices, and so Sydney and I drove up Sunday night and spent two days swimming and shopping.  It was relaxing and fun.  I laughed a lot with my sister and my mom, and we had a good time. 

Unfortunately, while I was there I learned that dear, dear friends of ours--the kind of friends we have spent vacations with, who both Jeff and I are friends with (a rare find, indeed!), who we have walked through deep church struggles with and who have walked through deep church struggles with us---have separated and will probably divorce.  Twenty years of marriage.  Three beautiful children.  None of it seems to matter now.

Sadly, in less than one year, the marriages of three couples we are very close to have unraveled to the point of probable divorce.  I hope God has a BIG bottle for my tears because I have shed many over these situations.  I don't understand why He would allow these things.  I don't understand what these people are thinking.  I don't understand how they can justify their behavior to their hurting kids.  I don't understand the sinful choices and selfish actions.  And, of course, I don't know every detail but I know enough to know I don't understand, and I know enough to know that Satan is having a hey day. 

My heart breaks for my friends.  And my heart breaks for me.  I guess, in my own way, I am being selfish too.  I miss my friends.   I am grieving for what "should have been".  

My favorite devotional book spoke to my hurting heart this week, like it always does. 

My face is shining upon you, beaming out peace that transcends understanding. 
You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face to face with Me, your Peace. 
As long as you focus on Me, you are safe.  If you gaze too long at the myriad problems around you, 
you will sink at the weight of your burdens. 
When you start to sink, simply call out "Help me, Jesus!" and I will lift you up.

The closer you live to Me, the safer you are.  Circumstances around you are undulating,
and there are treacherous-looking waves in the distance.  Fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. 
By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to proportions of My design. 
I am always beside you, helping you face today's waves.  The future is a phantom, seeking to spook you. 
Laugh at the future.  Stay close to Me.