Boys will be boys......

Payton and his best friend, Jonah, have been spending a lot of time in the woods and water behind Jonah's house. As a result, we have a new member of the family, creatively named "Newton".

Payton and Newton (I'm noticing a theme here...)

Newton and friends, trying desperately to escape their inevitable captivity.

The hunters and the hunted! (Don't ya love the shoes and boots??)

Right On, Andy!!

Now I don't always agree with Andy Rooney. But he is right on the money with this!

• I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.
• The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens... Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
• Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
• I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason; that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?
• I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia; it is an opinion.
• I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.
• When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.
• I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!
• My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
• I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry a** if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the above.
• I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government-sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.
• We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations.
• I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
• I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
• I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building.
• It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid and smack his little behind when necessary, and say 'NO!'
• I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!
• I am sick of 'Political Correctness.' I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be 'African-Americans'? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

Out of the Mouth of Payton.....

Driving to school the other day, we were behind an elderly man driving VERY slowly. At the same time, we were listening to the local christian radio station, which was running a story on how to conserve gas since the prices are rising rapidly. One of their suggestions was always driving the speed limit or slower to conserve gas.

Payton, great thinker that he is, piped up from the backseat:

"Now I know why Grammy and Grandpop and other elderly people have so much money. They all drive slow, which saves gas and gives them lots of money for other things."

Brooke x Math = Frustration for Jeff

This is Brooke's attempt to make Algebra more palatable. Actually, Jeff was grilling dinner and she needed help, so she planted herself in the back of the van while he was grilling so he could answer questions for her!

They really ARE different......

We have the privilege of raising sons daughters and sons, and every day, it seems we find out how truly different they are.

Today's Case in Point: as soon as the girls hit the seat in carpool, they launch into a play-by-play of each conversation, lunchtime happening, and every other vitally important, life-changing event that might have occurred during the day. And the girls are at the ages (14 and 11) where I frequently hear things like "Friend A doesn't like Boy B any more. Now, she likes Boy C." or "Friend D and Friend E aren't friends anymore because Friend D gave Friend F a Best Friends Forever necklace." or "Today, Friend G and Friend H were fighting over who had the prettier hair." You know--important things like that.

Evidently, however, there were some feathers a' flyin' in fourth grade today. When I asked Payton how his day was, he said "Fine, except that 'Paige' and 'Natalie' were fighting today." (Names have been changed to protect the guilty) And, former 7th-grade girl that I am, I immediately said "Oh really, why?" With a dramatic roll of the eyes and a very exasperated tone, Payton said "How should I know mom? It's none of my business."

And, for him, it truly is as simple as that. He won't give it another minute's thought. Oh that girls were that easy!

A Boy and His Mower

A new era has begun at our house. Tonight, Payton had his first experience mowing the lawn. He was soooo excited. A feeling, which we assured him, would pass quickly and would be nothing more than a distant memory when he's 15 and wants to spend the afternoon at the pool or with friends but dad has left strict orders to mow the lawn. (Remember those days, Adam?)

He actually did a great job--even listening to his iPod while he mowed, just like dad does! Our lawn is a beautiful green carpet of squiggly lawnmower lines. And we have one proud little man who will, no doubt, sleep very well tonight.



**UPDATE** Payton just came in and said "Mom, that was so cool. I loved how the mower vibrated, and I smell just like dad when he mows, and I even got grass shavings up my nose!"

I ask you--does it get any better than that?

Scorecards, "Sawyer-Style"

This is the first year that we have allowed the younger kids to watch "American Idol", and they are totally into it. The boys eagerly anticipate every Tuesday night to watch the competition, and the first question out of their mouths on Thursday morning (we don't let them stay up late enough to watch the results) is "Who got kicked off?"

Last night, as we gathered 'round the old boob tube, Sawyer decided he needed to implement his own scoring system. He took this very seriously. I kid you not. After every song, he chose a "score" and held that notebook high above his head.

Really Good

Good

Not That Good

According to Sawyer's very "technical" system, the scores last night were as follows, and I quote:

• Jordan--Good
• Blake--I loved him so much.
• Melinda--Not that good

And there you have it. I wonder if Simon would agree?

P.S. Please excuse the boxers. These pictures were taken right before bed.

Why Men are Happier......

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too "icky".
You don't have to stop and think about which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental $100.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!!

Some Monday Encouragement

Facing some "unclimbable" mountains or "unnavigable" waters or "unhealable" hurts? I hope this song is an encouragement to you. I get goose bumps every time I hear it.

Who's leaving the Union?

I have a new game for you. You may get rid of any three states. (Not necessarily the people IN the states, although that may certainly be part of your reasoning. Do what you will....it's a game.) Also, feel free to leave a comment and let me know which ones you'd choose.

Jen's Picks

1. New Jersey--armpit of the nation, hands down, no contest.
2. Texas--I do have some dear friends there, but I have to choose this out of loyalty to the University of Oklahoma Sooners and my dear daddy.
3. California--too many liberals.

Jeff's Picks

1. New Jersey--because the Jets and the Giants play there.
2. Arizona--because it's too freakin' hot there and it already has a big hole in it anyway.
3. Rhode Island--does anyone really live in Rhode Island? Do they even have a downtown?

Can you relate???

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between,
Which she tried to ignore, to avoid a scene.

She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock,
As the gutsy *cookie thief* diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye.

With each cookie she took, he took one, too.
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other.
She snatched it from him and thought, Oh Brother,
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude.
Why, he didn't even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the *thieving ingrate*.

She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with suprise:
There were her cookies in front of her eyes!

If mine are here, she moaned with despair,
Then the others were his and he tried to share!
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That SHE was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!

Projects ad nauseum.......

It must be the end of the school year. We are waist-high in school projects around here, and that's always the tell-tale sign that summer is near.

In the past three weeks, the kids have completed the following.....

• A physical science report on the invention of the sewing machine
• A biography report on Muhammad Ali (thoughtfully chosen by Payton simply because he has to dress up to present his report, and we just happen to have a boxing costume from last Halloween.)
• A Maryland "notebook" (This is still in progress. We are currently pressing flowers indigenous to Maryland.)
  
• Mailing Flat Stanley to the great state of Michigan for some travels around Grand Rapids and Sparta.
  
• A history time line that has to be displayed in a creative way. Past projects have been done on tee shirts, trash cans, toilet paper, and even a toilet seat. Those are gonna be hard to top!
• And last but certainly not least, a to-scale model of the Old Testament tabernacle, complete with the altar of incense, ark of the covenant, and a miniature Aaron's rod and ten commandments, among other things! Jeff and Sydney worked very hard on this and did a great job! See pictures below.

And, silly me, I thought I had already passed the 9th, 6th, 4th, and 1st grades!! And, of course, it's Teacher Appreciation week, and I am making a batch of cookies, a Boston cream pie from scratch, and a dessert for the teacher's luncheon on Wednesday. I really do appreciate the teachers and am happy to help, it just makes a crazy week even crazier! Never a dull moment at the VeStrands!

Quote of the Day...

Our kids take turns praying each night for dinner. For some reason, though, Sawyer seems to have a hard time coming up with what to say. Tonight it was his turn to pray, and he was taking a while to put his thoughts together and get the words out. There we sit with our heads bowed, waiting, waiting, and all of the sudden Payton says.....

"Sawyer, hurry up and pray. My clothes are going out of style."

(I think we've been watching too much What Not to Wear around here!)