2.29.2008

More Thievery...

I'm sure you've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, my thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My rear end was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new rear was attached at least three inches lower than my original! Sadly, I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

As if that wasn't enough, two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning when I was doing my hair, I was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - parts stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! I jumped out of bed and was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband, just to be on the safe side.

(Author unknown)

2.28.2008

My son, the thief

Tonight, after dinner, I noticed a strange pair of gloves on the island and asked who they belonged to. Sawyer said "They're mine." Because I didn't recognize them, I asked him where he had gotten them. His response?

"Oh, we don't have enough gloves around here so I just took them out of the Lost & Found today."

Nice.......

Needless to say, they'll be going back tomorrow.

2.27.2008

Who Knew???

As most of you know, I had a "momentous" birthday this year. And apparently worrying about facial wrinkles, sagging eyelids, and thinning hair isn't my only problem any more. Nope. Now I have to worry about my aging UNDERARMS!!!

Yesterday while I was grocery shopping, I noticed this new product: Dove Pro-Age Deodorant. What will they think of next?? I set down my Depends undergarments and picked up the deodorant to read this:
The condition of skin changes as it ages, even underarms.
Slower surface cell turnover causes skin to lose its resiliency
resulting in dry, flaky and increasingly irritated underarm skin.

And I was just hoping the flab under my arms would hide any loss of "underarm skin resiliency". Silly me........

2.26.2008

The Truth Hurts.....

We remain in a holding pattern regarding the potential buyers. At this point, I am pretty certain they have probably decided God is leading them to tent-camp for the rest of their lives rather than buy our house but that's the way it goes sometimes, right??? Sigh.....

I saw the quote below today and wondered immediately if this is how my children will feel about me someday (or maybe (probably!) they already feel this way??) I freely admit to being a neat-freak. I cannot abide clutter, junk, piles, etc. I toss things with reckless abandon, much to my mother's dismay. I like my home to be neat, clean, and clutter free. You won't find empty shoeboxes or dreadful happy meal toys gathering dust in my house. Yesterday's newspaper? What newspaper? Jeff is lucky if it's there when he walks in the door after school! However, since we've had the house for sale, it's been even worse because we have to be ready at any minute to entertain that elusive potential buyer.

I wonder, if one day, perhaps while Oprah is interviewing one of my children about the cure for cancer her or she discovered and is inquiring about the amazing parenting that must have spurred them on to such greatness, one of them will say....

Neurotics build castles in the air.
Psychotics live in them.
My mother cleaned them.
(Rita Rudner)

Yikes!!

2.25.2008

Even More CVS....

Are you tired of the CVS posts yet? Well, I will try to make this the last one for a while. But, I just found out that CVS will take competitor's prescription coupons. So.......if you see a coupon for a gift card from Target or Walgreen's or Rite-Aid, be sure to cut it out and take it with you to CVS the next time you need to have a prescription filled. Even more money to spend at CVS!!

And, there's a coupon in this week's Rite-Aid ad! Don't miss it!

2.23.2008

More CVS goodness.....

If you enjoy scrapbooking (I don't) or if you just enjoy having lots of pictures that must be organized and stored(I don't), then this deal is for you! I personally keep mine on discs but if you want 95 actual photographs, here you go!! Have fun! (This will only work if you haven't signed up for the CVS photo center online previously.)

Follow these steps to get 95 free photo prints....

1. At the CVS Photo Center click on "Start Now" to create an account with your email address and ExtraCare Number.
2. CVS will instantly send you an email link to click and will credit you with 50 free photos.
3. Next, fill out this survey to receive an additional 20 photos free. (You will need to come back to this link and click it.)
4. Under the "Order Prints"section (you may have to upload a photo to get to this page), click on "Do More with Your Photos" on the right side of the screen. Then another 10 prints will be credited to your account.
5. Once you are signed up, order a few (I only ordered 1) of your free prints and include the code 15FREE for an additional 15 free prints.

I did this myself and it worked fine. I ordered one print and have 94 free prints sitting in my account mocking me. Although I will say that the website is not the easiest to navigate, in my opinion. Also, it took maybe 5 minutes for CVS to send me the e-mail link for the 50 free photos. It definitely wasn't "instantly".

Also, for those of you in Mt. Airy, it's store number #1446. (You will need your store number for the survey.) For those of you elsewhere, the store number should be on your receipt somewhere or just give them a call. (Hopefully, the person you reach will be a bit "brighter" than the girl I spoke to, who proceeded to give me the store's phone number, which I, obviously, had just called. After all, I was speaking to her on the TELEPHONE.)

Now, off with you, go get those free prints!!


--

Your laugh for the day....

This is cute!! Especially if Cadbury eggs are your weakness this time of year......

2.20.2008

It's Windy...........

Life is crazy.
God is at the center; everything else is a whirlwind.


Today I read that statement on another blog. Our life right now certainly is a whirlwind. I hope we are keeping God in the center. Here's a summary of the past few days........

On Monday, we had a second showing. They brought someone with them to help them "check out" the house. They were here for the full hour looking at things.

The people who came for the second showing are interested in our home. They are expecting a contract on their current home tomorrow and then, GOD-willing, they will make us an offer.

I am subbing all this week in fifth grade. That means six people who are dressed, fed, with lunches packed, and homework done--out of the house which must be vacuumed with beds made, bathrooms cleaned, dishes put away and every light on---by 7:15 every morning.

I am subbing all this week in fifth grade. And, by divine providence or the laughter of fate, the math lessons this week are on fractions. Only my parents (and my own fifth grade teacher) will truly appreciate how ironic this is. (I apologize in advance to the teacher and the parents who will inevitably spend precious time "reteaching" these concepts.)

In addition to subbing, I still have my work responsibilities. This means that I have to check voice mail several times a day from school. It also means that while the kids are in Art and Media, I am making calls and catching up on work e-mail. It also means that next Monday when I am back in the office, it will pretty much be nuts there too!

Somehow (care to guess how?) our dear oldest daughter left her entire backpack, full of all her notes, homework, etc. in her friend's car. This normally wouldn't be a big deal because her friend lives close by. However, said friend is having car trouble and her car has been in the repair shop for the past three days. And no car means no backpack which means no notes or homework to turn in which means "I **can't** do anything without my backpack". Needless to say, Brooke was much happier about this little occurrence than Jeff and I were.

Today the boys had eye doctor appointments right after school. (Both need glasses.) Then Payton had a tournament basketball game in Frederick. (They lost.) Jeff had a haircut and Brooke had small group. (I forgot the snack she needed to take.) This would have all been even more fun if Jeff had decided to attend the meeting he had at church tonight. (He decided to skip it since the weather is bad.)

A whirlwind indeed..........

2.17.2008

Holding our breath.....

We survived our open house today and had a very good turnout! Two couples are very interested and we expect to hear back from them later this week.

Biggest news: tomorrow we have a SECOND showing. This couple came last week and said our house was first on their list. All prayers are appreciated!! We'll keep you posted!

2.16.2008

In case you were wondering.......

a 2 GB Sandisk memory stick can go through the complete laundry cycle--washer and dryer--not once, but twice, and still work perfectly!!

Wanna guess how I know that???

2.14.2008

The ultimate Valentine.............


For God loved the world so much
that he gave his one and only Son,
so that everyone who believes in him
will not perish but have eternal life.

2.12.2008

And speaking of voting......

This REALLY angers me. I am not an ardent McCain supporter but he is definitely the lesser of the evils, in my opinion. And, as the article states, McCain meets all of Dr. Dobson's listed criteria anyway. What do we have to gain by a so-called "religious leader" being so hateful?

Dobson Seeks a Million Pledges NOT to vote for McCain???

James Dobson has a long history of threatening to abandon the Republican Party and take his supporters with him, only to turn around and undertake get-out-the-vote activities seemingly designed to help the GOP win elections.

Back in 2006, Dobson blasted the Republican leadership, saying that “values voters” had “very little to show” for all their efforts at getting them elected and that there would be “trouble down the road” if they didn’t start moving on the issues the Religious Right cares about. And to show just how serious he was about holding their feet to the fire, he set out to organize and participate in massive voter registration rallies in places like Minnesota, Pennsylvania, and Tennessee while boosting his efforts on his radio program.

But this time around, fresh on the heels of telling the entire world that he will not, ever, under any circumstances forsake his principles and support John McCain, it looks like Dobson just might be serious, as he has announced that he is seeking “to enlist 1 million Values Voters” to pledge to stand on principle and not vote for McCain … or something:

Focus on the Family Founder and Chairman Dr. James Dobson invites values voters to pledge to uphold pro-family principles during this year’s election.

In response to the media’s efforts to minimize the impact of values voters, Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family Action are initiating a nationwide Values Voter Pledge. The pledge is a statement by citizens who are committing to vote only for candidates who uphold the highest pro-life, pro-faith and pro-family principles.

Focus Action is hoping 1 million voters will take the pledge, which will serve as a demonstration of the strength and seriousness of Values Voters in this election.

The pledge itself reads:

As a concerned citizen, I am signing this Values Voter Pledge for 2008 indicating my commitment to stand for the values of life, faith and family during this election year. I am pledging to support candidates who uphold these bedrock values of:

• Life -- I will only vote for candidates who have committed to defend sanctity of life from conception to natural death.

• Family -- I will only vote for candidates who stand for one-man, one-woman marriage and oppose efforts to undermine the nuclear family.

• Faith -- I will only vote for candidates who support the public acknowledgement of God and affirm the religious liberties of all Americans.

I also oppose any and all efforts by the media, organizations or candidates to diminish the role that Values Voters are playing in this year’s election. I authorize Focus on the Family Action to represent my Values Voter Pledge before the media, political candidates or other suitable forums as a demonstration of the strength and seriousness of Values Voters in this election cycle.

Since Dobson attacked McCain specifically on these issues in his statement, this is presumably some sort of attempt to induce McCain to pander to them by getting a million potential voters to threaten to sit on the sidelines unless he does. But since Dobson has already made it abundantly clear that he hates McCain and has no intention of voting for him anyway, what incentive is there for McCain to even bother appeasing him?

Plus, given the vague language in the pledge, couldn’t McCain plausibly claim to “uphold these bedrock values” already? After all, he believes that “that the institution of marriage should be reserved for the union of a man and a woman,” proclaims that “the defense of innocent life” is at “the core of [his] value system,” and, as he declared at the Values Voter Summit, “Religious freedom does not require Americans to hide their faith from public view or that communities must refrain from publicly acknowledging the importance to them of faith.”

Go Vote!!

If you are reading in Maryland, be sure to vote today!! We did and we even got to do an exit poll, which I've never done before.

Of course, if the picture below appeals to you, then don't bother. YIKES!!!! That's the stuff nightmares are made of.

2.11.2008

By Sawyer......

Last week, Sawyer was assigned to write a short story in his class journal. The class was given two potential topics and Sawyer chose "All of the world's scissors have disappeared. What will you do?" Following is his (with my grammar help) story......

Detective Sawyer and the
Case of the Missing Scissors


Once upon a time, there was a detective named Sawyer and his brilliant assistant Shakespeare. One day, detective Sawyer heard something very sad: all of the world's scissors had disappeared! How would people cut? How would kids in school do their projects? How would people get their hair cut? How would they survive? Sawyer had to do something!

Then Sawyer remembered that all scissors had metal in them. So he decided to use his giant metal detector to find the missing scissors. Shakespeare was a pilot, so he and Sawyer went up in their airplane and Sawyer held on to a ladder that hung out of the airplane and used the metal detector. As they flew along, the metal detector got the scissors and they gathered them in the airplane.


Detective Sawyer found out that a bad policeman, named Michael, had stolen all of the world's scissors so that he could keep his afro hairstyle. Michael went to jail and all over the world, the people were very happy.

They were also required to illustrate their stories, and Sawyer's journal pages were replete with pictures of scissors and detective hats. At the end, Sawyer drew a full page picture of Michael about to get his afro cut by Shakespeare! Of course, Michael was protesting loudly! (It's also important to note that the character Michael is modeled after Sawyer's real-life friend, Michael, who most definitely does NOT have an afro!)

2.10.2008

Recipe Sunday

This recipe is an oldie but goodie! It served us well through many games of Rook and Tennessee Rummy while Jeff was in seminary. Best of all, it's quick and easy!

Dump Cake

1 can cherry pie filling
1 large can chunk pineapple, drained
1 box white cake mix
2 sticks (1 cup) butter, melted (pour over cake mix)
1 cup coconut

Grease a 9x13 pan and layer the ingredients as listed above. Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.

**You can use any pie filling/fruit that you might like. You can also add/substitute nuts for the coconut.

Enjoy!!!

(This recipe listed for Joe Dabrowski, who participated in many of those fun seminary games with us!! Good times!)

2.09.2008

Seven days and counting......

Okay---while you won't find me sporting a DuPont "pleather" jacket or even sticking a number "24" to the back of my van, I proudly admit that Jeff and I are huge NASCAR fans. (Please excuse the misplaced modifier there. Hopefully, you understand that Jeff and I aren't "huge"; it's our love of NASCAR that is. You get it, right?)

Anyway, only seven days to Daytona!! As Daryl Waltrip would say "Boogity, boogity, boogity!"

(This post in honor of my brother, Adam, whose love for NASCAR is exceeded only by his love for poison ivy.)

2.07.2008

You know what they say.......

If it sounds too good to be true.........

Apparently, I jumped the gun on the CVS coupon. I apologize. It's still good but not nearly as good as I thought. Here's a short explanation from Crystal at www.moneysavingmom.com. (She is the CVS guru!!) I will admit I don't fully understand her explanation myself. So if you have questions, you might want to drop her a note.

While this offer isn't a bad thing, it is not what it might appear to be.

Offer applies to 2% quarterly Extra Bucks Rewards earned on eligible purchases. Extra Bucks Rewards will print on your receipt beginning April 1st.


You only need to present this coupon at the register once, and then your Extra Bucks Rewards will be tripled on every qualifying purchase through March 15th.


Offer excludes Extra Bucks on specific items advertised in newspaper and in-store circulars, product packaging, shelf displays and signs.
As you can see, the triple ECBs only apply on the quarterly earnings, not on the monthly and weekly ECB deals. CVS might be generous, but they aren't that generous!

So, print out this coupon, have it scanned at the register when you check out on your next trip and instead of earning 2% back on all purchases this quarter, you'll earn 6%.
CVS only credits you the 2 or 6 percent on your actual out-of-pocket expenses, though, so for those of us who only spend a dollar or less per week on our purchases, the difference between 2% and 6% is very slim. However, a penny earned in ECBs is a penny earned in ECBs, so it doesn't hurt anything to have them go ahead and scan this coupon.

More CVS Goodness...

For those of you who have jumped on the CVS bandwagon--and if you haven't, you NEED to (did I mention that I got $67 worth of stuff last week for $.87!!!?)--this is the perfect time to start!

Go here, print out the coupon, and get TRIPLE extra bucks rewards on qualifying purchases through March 15!!! You only have to present the coupon one time and they will automatically TRIPLE your ECBs on each purchase after that.

Come on people--go get that toilet paper, that toothpaste, those soy joy bars, and don't forget chocolate!!

You have NO excuse! GO!! GO!!!

2.04.2008

I'm Tired....

and this meme is about all I can manage. It's been three days. Somebody buy my house already!!!

Anyway, this is just for fun. Feel free to copy, then come back and tell me about your rock band.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first article title is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

My results:

Band Name:
S. M. V. Higher Secondary School
Album Name: Duty of being Happy
Album Cover


Coming soon to a concert venue near you!!

2.02.2008

Quote of the Day...

We had our first showing this afternoon!! So our house was a flurry of cleaning and straightening activity this morning. Each of the children was given a job to do, and much to his dismay, Sawyer's job was to vacuum both flights of stairs. As he whined about his task, I said to him "Sawyer, we have to clean the house. If we don't have a clean house, we won't be able to get a new house. Don't you want a new house?"

His response: "Yes. I want a new house with less stairs!"